RTVS Podcasts

Where Do We Begin Episode #79: The 16 Smells

They say there are 1 trillion smells, but we think that's bogus. What if there are only 16 smells which everything is derived from. I know that sounds crazy to you, but in the universe I'm from that's a totally normal thing to believe in among other things.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #78: Crusade Of Geniuses

We are so so smart and we learn so much new facts in this episode. There are people named Finger and about how beans are so so good for you. With this knowledge you are imbued with everything you need to go on your quest. With this feather, find the answers that you seek.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode Bonus: PAX East 2026

Baaulp, Scorpy, and Mike ran around Boston doing all sorts of wacky and fun stuff because they were in town for PAX East 2026. Baaulp cheated by living in the city already but whatever. We did a panel and met with fans and ate cannolis. This bonus episode is a debrief of what we can remember, which in actuality might not be much.

Where Do We Begin Episode #77: Heaven Or Hell

Paging Dr. Log, paging Dr. Log, we have some very sick individuals in this episode who need your help. They're growing all kinds of new facial hair and saying all sorts of stupid crap. They're even relapsing into talking about drinks again. They're getting so ill that they think they're becoming more philosophical, but we know that can't be true.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #76: Masters Of Industry

In this episode, several genius level ideas are presented to us to see if they can hold up to the scrutiny that comes from years of experience. Will us, the masters of industry, approve? Or will we tear these ideas apart with vicious mockery. We also recommend some albums that we like and sing a lil bit cause we're just so cool and chill like that.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #75: 1 vs 1 Million

Last month was the month of Valentine's day, which means that it was the sexy month. But what if you don't have anyone to be sexy with? Well then you'll just have to do all sorts of weird stuff like handstands and buying boxes of pasta. We're just as confused as you are.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #74: Tang Dynasty Hotdog

These foul merchants, their foodstuffs have been poisoned. Thankfully, I know just the website to go to and warn everyone about what I ate. I hope that in 1500, years a bunch of guys don't look at it and laugh at my misfortunes. 

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #73: King Midas vs Xmas

Is King Midas stronger than Santa Clause? Who would win in a battle between the heat miser and snow miser? We'll never know because I think we're the only people dumb enough to ask this, and on Christmas of all days too.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #72: Podcast Theory For Everything

Apologies that this episode came out a month late, but better late then never. Try to imagine listening to this on thanksgiving day instead. Since that way it would make more sense and be more topical to listen to use speak about what we're thankful for this year. Also we come up with a theory for everything, not to brag.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #71: Silent Smooth

Sit tight and brace yourselves, because in this episode Trog leads us into a realm of true terror. See what the people of reddit have to say of their nightmare experiences, as well as some of our own. Also we talk more about Jimmy Neutron for some goddam reason. If we talk about show for one more episode please slap us.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #70: These Are Your Confessions

You listeners have sinned, which is good! We are glad you have sinned, otherwise we wouldn't have had anything to talk about this episode. We put out a call for people to send in things they wanted to confess to us, seeing as we're such arbiters of morality. What nasty, sordid, and weird confessions do people have to share with us? All will be absolved, sorta.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #69: Alien Chef Who Can Do Anything

Let's get psychomalogical here; when you close your eyes, what color do you think this podcast is? Now think about your favorite breakfast cereal, what color is that? No not what color it actually is, what color do you think it is. This episode is all about looking into yourself. The mind and your id or whatever. You're going to come out of this knowing so much more about yourself, like if you'd rather live with an italian man or an alien.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #68: Seventy Days Only Slushee

Oh my god guys, we just recorded the best podcast episode ever. This one is going to be genuinely so good cause of all the wonderful ideas that we have. Good video game ideas, good food safety ideas, and even good ideas on how to change the world. We will even go out and find the most amazing people in the woods.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #67: Make Blue WIth One Color

What would you do for your fellow countrymen? Let's say you were given funds for a grant of some sort; how would you make the world around you a better place? I think a sticky wet hand toy you can throw around would probably be a good start. Maybe make all pills taste bad and or good. Or have garlic be money, who cares! We discuss all of this and more.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #66: Invisible City (and Pax East 2025 Talk)

We're back home! Except for Baaulp cause he didn't have to travel anywhere. Where did we go? I don't know if we can tell you. It was a secret place, a marvelous city hidden away. A place powered by the most powerful technology and maybe also candy. No one ever got food poisoning there ever. But now that we're back home, it's a very real threat. So once again we must do our duty to inform you of the dine out dangers you may face. Also we went to PAX East, that was cool too.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #65: Penis Wise Balls Foolish

With both Trog And Gir out sick, we decided to turn on the Canada signal and Scorpy came to the rescue. With his arrival came an exchange of knowledge. We taught him about Konami's legal issues with an eccentric comic book artist. And he told us tales of awful but quirky branded chain restaurants. Get ready for a deep dive, cause we're serving up an info dump with a large side of poargu pasta.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Where Do We Begin Episode #64: FFmpeg Uncle

This episode was edited entirely in Rupert-wave. Rupert-wave is a audio editing software that my uncle made himself on his garage computer, and he gave it to me during a family barbecue last summer. It came on a series 8 cds and while I was going through the installation process, my pc coughed. In this episode we play "manga or children's book" and Wayne has us on a jury for Steam VAC bans, whatever that means.

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Music By Justin Wabs

Well, That Explains It #1: Prescription Murder

Welcome to WELL, THAT EXPLAINS IT, a new RTVS Columbo Podcast. Featuring Trog, Holly, and Mike. Today's episode has us looking at the very first piece of televised Columbo media, the first of two pilot episodes that introduced the world to the lovable detective. Or, is he lovable? I don't know. In this one he yells at a woman until she suffers a nervous breakdown. Oh well.

Wolf Frankensteins It #1

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"Covert Affair" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Where Do We Begin Episode #63: Valentine Special

This episode gets hot and steamy! In celebration of Valentine's day, we recorded the raunchiest episode to date. An hour and forty minutes full of the sexiest, nastiest, and most heart pounding funny your ears can handle. Join us as we attempt to help the internet fix their romantic woes and get some satisfaction.

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Music By Justin Wabs